Choosing happiness

**Disclaimer: this post is in no way meant to take away from the seriousness of mental health issues. I understand that solely choosing happiness is not always possible and that the need for professional intervention is very real and very possible.

I definitely believe that as human beings we have the capacity to choose happiness. So what does choosing to be happy look like? Is it all rainbows and butterflies? Can we do whatever we want, whenever we want? The simple answer: no. 

Life is still life. There are always going to be people you don't like, and get this: people that don't like you - something I'm still working on understanding. No matter how hard you try, there is no way that you are always going to make everyone happy... So why not work on keeping the one person you can count on happy : YOU!

When you find something that makes you truly happy, you do it. 

When you find someone who makes you truly happy, you spend time with them. It's really that simple. 

Most of us go through our lives doing and saying what we think people want to see and hear. We are so afraid to show who we really are because being judged is such a real part of life. But if you think about it, you're really the only person that can make sure that you're happy. While there could be people in your life that make you happy, they do not determine your overall happiness - or they shouldn't. Happiness cannot come from one sole aspect of your life, for example your spouse, significant other, etc. While its crucial to surround yourself with supportive people and people that keep you up, a balance is just as important.

So how did I find happiness? Well it just sort of happened. I know, I know, you want some clear cut plan like "10 steps to take to become a happier person" - but that's not how it works.

I started doing things for me. I go to the gym when I want to. I eat healthy when I want to - and I have junk food when I want to (within moderation, of course). I tell people what I want and I tell them what I don't - again this is a work in progress. I (try to) say no to doing things I don't want to do by being honest, not making up excuses. I take time for myself, and I take time to spend with the people I love. I plan (a lot), but I also steer off the plan and try to be spontaneous. I live in the now, not the past. Am I perfect at any of these things? Definitely not. Am I consistently working towards making my self happy? Absolutely. 

Being happy (most of the time) gives you a whole new energy - and not only on the inside. People will notice, and as corny as it sounds - they'll gravitate towards you. There's a reason 'killing people with kindness' exists, because people generally mimic the attitudes and behaviours that  surround them. Choosing to smile and move on when things are tough shows strength. It lifts a weight off your shoulder. And as you choose to do more things that make you happy or the be with the people who make you happy - it becomes easier and easier to find your path. You'll make likeminded friends and you'll start living your life differently. Passions will become more clear, and goals will seem more attainable. 

Anyone can be happy. Choose happiness.

10 things I wish I had known before losing 50lbs.

1. Confidence isn't automatic, it takes work.
This one was HUGE. I thought I would start losing weight and suddenly be super confident in all aspects of my life - but that was really inaccurate. Yes, I started to feel more confident in my body, but there are still times (lots of them) where I look in the mirror and am not happy. It doesn't matter how far you've come, sometimes you're still going to look 'fat' in everything you own.

2. Sometimes you're a little too confident.
I love progress pictures. I love my own, and I love seeing other peoples. I also love to share when I hit new goals or start seeing changes in my muscle definition. Sometimes this comes off as showy.. But hey, the way I see it - you earned it!

3. Your 'people' aren't always going to be supportive.
This one sucks. The people you consider to be closest to you don't always understand why you turn down that piece of cake or why you occasionally have to say 'no' to going out for beer and nachos and head to the gym instead. Truth is, they'll probably never get it... But that doesn't mean you can't still be friends. Choices & moderation - don't completely cut them out (unless of course they're toxic to life as a whole).

4. You'll find new 'people'.
This doesn't mean you replace your old friends and family, but chances are if you're hitting up fitness classes a few times a week or going to the same gym continuously, your friendships will shift slightly. You'll make new friends, or become closer with people you share interests with. You'll build a support system.

5. Consistency isn't always key.
It's pretty natural to want to stick with something when the results are there, but sometimes this can sabotage you. A lot of weight loss journeys hit a 'plateau' at some point or another, and this is usually a sign to bring something new into your routine. For example, the start of my journey was based off counting calories, but now I am pretty firmly against that philosophy yet still yielding results. Sometimes one small tweak is all you need.

6. People will continually ask for your advice, and then ignore it.
If you're like me, you will get excited each time someone asks you for your advice. You're in no way an expert, but suddenly you feel like one and can't wait to share how you saw results. And then boom, a day, or a week passes and they ignored everything you suggested to them : ouch. All you can do is continue to give your advice and hope that at least once, it will stick and you'll help someone feel as good as you do.

7. Buying a new wardrobe sounds like a lot more fun than it is.
This one goes back with #1 - but its so big that I figured it should have its own explanation. That new body of yours - yea, not so easy to dress. Sometimes you'll try something on and be blown away that you've come this far, but sometimes you'll try something on that will make you completely forget your progress. Also, it's way more expensive to build a whole new wardrobe than you'd anticipate.

8. There will always be an abundance of (good AND bad) advice out there.
It seems like there is some 'new' diet tip out each week - calorie counting, macro counting, low carb diets, high protein diets, replace blank with blank, etc. Do your research. Use resources you can trust (backed up by evidence) and find something that works for you. Different nutrition is good for different results and one plan that someone follows isn't necessarily the best one for you.

9. Weight loss isn't constant.
Life happens. Sometimes, you gain ten pounds during finals week... Or you have three birthday parties in one weekend and your results take a turn for the worst. These things happen. What's important is to make sure that you don't spiral out of control. Hold yourself accountable and don't beat yourself up - a lot of the time these extra few pounds will come off quickly if you catch them right way.

10. Your life will change.
Physical changes can (and probably will) affect you emotionally too. Your progress becomes yet another part of your identity and sometimes, if you're like me, you'll have no idea how you lived your life any differently before. Overall, it's amazing!

Three and a half years and 48 lbs. difference.