Milestones, and such.

Note: this blog has been in the making for over a month. Life gets busy, ideas get mixed around and perceptions change. It's not my best work, but something I feel needed to be said.

 At our somewhat regular coffee date, my best friends from university and I got into a rabbit-hole of a conversation about societal milestones. While we agreed that they're a huge part of the way our society defines success, I explained that in the grand scheme of things, they really don't mean much.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm guilty of "milestoning" my life, too. I had a plan growing up: married by 23, kids by 25 and a lovely established family, living in a house "we" own (whoever we was supposed to be at that time), by 30.  Yep, by 30 everything would be all figured out... or so I thought. Flash forward to now: 27, living back at home and desperately trying to save for a small condo to call my own, while paying off an insane amount of student debt. I think the problem is, in my own experience, that is, is that we forget to account for the unexpected. We don't consider that school might take us an extra year, or relationships don't always work out how we think they will. We lose sight of the fact that life happens, and it happens a hell of a lot faster than we ever expect it to. We also place so much importance on specific 'milestones' and forget to appreciate others. Let me explain.  For me, I had always placed so much importance on growing up and building a family (I came from a relatively young family, and just figured that that was the path I would take too) and while I hate to admit it, I had a really hard time when my closest friends started to get married and having kids. I had placed so much importance on one specific set of milestones (family-life) that I forgot to appreciate that my life was, in fact progressing - just in different ways.

I was working towards goals that I never even knew I had. I was raising an incredible amount of money for charities, establishing my dream career (a career I didn't even know I wanted until I was in university) and really figuring out who I wanted to be. It took me a long time to see that there are different paths in life and if I'm being honest, I still have days where I wonder what the eff I'm doing. It's all about a mindset shift, I think, and this is where things get harder to explain. It's about appreciating what the people around you are experiencing, while not forgetting to live your life, in your way. I think that it's also about setting goals, but not being discouraged when things don't work out exactly the way you think they will, being honest with yourself and appreciating all the things you ARE doing and accomplishing and being.

The thing about milestones is that we always think that once we hit them that life will figure itself out.  We place so much importance on reaching certain point that we forget to recognize the journey. We need to stop saying things like "when I hit my goal weight, I'll be happy", "once the wedding comes, we won't be so stressed", "when I'm done university, I'll have it all figured out" and start appreciating everything that we are achieving while getting to those points (or not getting to those points). Life is hectic and unpredictable, but that's kind of the beauty in it all and while milestones provide us with guidance and can help some of us realize our ambitions and reams, they aren't the end all be all of life.

Why/how I started a Bullet Journal

It's been almost a year since I last published a blog... Note: published is the key word. I write somewhat frequently, and then I delete. Or I write and then it sits in drafts for months and months as I contemplate new ways to articulate the many things going on in my brain.  I guess that was the initial reason i started my bullet journal: a confined, organized place to keep all my not-so-concise and not-so-organized thoughts together.

At about this time last year, my sister introduced me to what would soon become an obsession: Bullet Journaling. Now, before I get into it, let me just remind everyone how very unartistic I am... which made my hesitant to start - as a perfectionist, I can't handle the idea of doing something not-so-perfectly. I started off with a bang! I wanted a page for everything I could think of - and maybe, just maybe - that's what led to me 'forgetting' my bullet journal altogether. (Well that and life gets busy... you know how it is). Truth is, I went strong through the summer while I had time off, and then, when reality hit in September, the pages began to dwindle. 

Lucky for me, I met a new teaching friend at work, who is slightly more organized (read: extremely more organized) than I am - who just so happened to carry her bujo everywhere. I was re-inspired! And I am officially back on the wagon.

The benefits of bullet journal (according to Allie)
- one space for EVERYTHING: not sure where to throw that grocery list? Bullet journal. Weekly calendar? Bullet journal. Questions to ask your DR? Bullet journal. You get the idea...
- self-care: as much (or as little) 'alone time' as you allow yourself. For me, it's an hour a week of me time.
- artistic outlet for the non-artist: its somewhere to draw, to colour, to write, etc. where no one can judge you. 
- productive: i always carry my bujo with me. That way, anytime I have a minute of downtown, or something to update, it's there and ready. 
- paper is always better: come on... phone calendars are so 2010. But in all seriousness, writing stuff down is therapeutic. And it sticks in your brain longer (teacher stuff, am I right?)... plus, you can't smash the screen of a notebook.