It's always interesting to think back on all of the ways my auto-immune disease has affected my life. Some days, it feels like yesterday that I was being admitted to the Alberta Children's Hospital, for the first time, with no idea what was wrong with me. While other times, it feels like a different lifetime.
The truth is, I often reflect upon those times on Sunday nights. You see, Sunday night is when I take my injection of Humira - also known as Adalimumab, or to me and my family: the miracle drug that got me back to this somewhat normal lifestyle.
Don't get me wrong, my disease is very much real, and it still takes it's toll on me on the daily. With joint pain, weird boughs fatigue/insomnia and other unexplainable symptoms, it becomes exhausting... But it's also pretty incredible to realize how far I've come in my battle through Behcets Disease/Rheumatoid Arthritis (or whatever the doctors are calling it this year). Let me explain.
At 15 years old, I had no idea the pain, both emotional and physical, I would go through over the next decade. Not only did I have the normal challenges of my teenage girl years, I had to navigate the woes of high school while juggling ever-changing medications, dozens of monthly doctor's appointments and the emotional trauma my disease would have on my life.
I didn't realize that by my grade 12 year, I would need a handicap parking pass for my high school, because my arthritis had gotten so bad I could barely walk. I didn't know that I would have recurring ulcers in my mouth and esophagus or multiple flares of eye inflammation that would leave even the best doctor's scrambling for new treatments. I didn't know that I would lose most of my 'friends' because the reality of having a friend who looks different, acts different or is just too sick to make it to school was too much for any teenager to deal with.
Looking back, it's crazy to think of the joy that a 20-something year old Allie felt the first time I ran up the stairs without worrying about my knees giving out. Or thinking back to the first specialist appointment where they were sure they had finally gotten my meds 'figured out'. If you would have asked me where I would be now ten years ago, this would not have been the answer. I honestly never thought I would lead a 'normal' life, but here I am, living so much more than that.
All in all, things have slowed down significantly over the years. And to be honest, I'll take the mini-flares and once-or-twice-a-year emergency room visits over what it was any day.
#sundaythoughts
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